Frozen Food Section

Ever show up in front of the freezer section at the grocery store, battling low blood sugar to be able to pick out your favorite variety of ice cream for your quick fix? Or perhaps you've found yourself cruising for frozen peas to nurse that shiner you got from the bar fight last night.... Whatever brought you to Safeway's chill chest, you find yourself staring at the door, attempting to make out blurry detail from the window that's got nearly one inch of frost on the interior surface; it's like trying to make out detail behind the warped glass of the shower door. What causes that? you wonder. Is the freezer element behind this door somehow more powerful than the others?

I have an answer!

That frosting is actually stupidity. It emanates from indecisive people and condenses on the glass. You know the ones. They stand there for 15 minutes, wondering why they're cold, trying to work out the vagaries of their own desires. "Did she mean Vanilla Bean? Just Vanilla, French Vanilla, or Double Vanilla?" "Is this the green kind of Mint Chocolate Chip?" "The mixed vegetables with lima beans are on sale, but I don't like lima beans. Maybe I should just get peas and carrots. I wonder if one day they'll grow square carrots instead of having to cut them. Hmm, but this Asian vegetable mix looks pretty good, it says just add chicken for a balanced meal, wow, I really wish the federal government would balance the budget. I should revise my budget to include a new iPod. I hear the new iPod shuffle is pretty cool, it's so cute and tiny! Tiffany is cute, too, maybe I should ask her out. I wonder if she's got a boyfriend already. Fuck it's cold in this store, they should turn up the heat! I should get some ice cream."